In the End

I guess there is a single moment where words become too harsh to hear. Where looking into the eyes of someone you once knew becomes an impossible feat because the fury that lay beneath the once soft greens runs deep and renders you speechless. I stand up tall and straight as an arrow, eyes facing forward, glazed over with disbelief.. when really inside, I am down on my knees, head in hands, eyes clenched shut, ball in throat, unable to breathe. In my head like a broken record i can hear those words, I think I will always hear THOSE words... over and over... haunting and daunting and reminding me of what I've so long refused to believe. And so now, now you've had your way. You've kicked and you've beaten and you've torn off a million pieces.. and I've fallen at your feet... and I've thrown up my hands and I've grown so mad that nothing can save me now. Only now, only in this space in time... when I think it really sinks in.. that this might be the real end...when I spend most of my days looking at x-rays, talking about options and wondering what tomorrow might bring... I'll tell you.. when you get the kind of news I've got.. you start to love deeper and give forgiveness you've been denying... you take a long hard look and what you'd do if you could do it all again, who you'd do it with...live like tomorrow was a gift... so as much as I want to hold onto this feeling that the harsh words made me feel today... I'm going to let myself have just one last cry and then I'm gonna let it all just blow away and live my life without you in it, like you never even existed... I just hope that you don't regret the things you've said.... cause it's the only thing I remember in the end...