if you were falling....

we used to speak on these things. I would sit here and you would sit just about there. I would look with my wild eyes... and yours would be wide and disappointed... but still even in those worst moments, at least we were speaking of sensitive issues at sensitive times. Now, I move sideways, so as not to cross that line... I tread carefully but still unaware of the power of my movements. Sometimes I do not even move at all. I am aware of the way my body feels, of the lump in the pit of my stomach, the empty air in the center of my brain, relieved yet caged... wanting only to speak that which is truth to fall on listening ears. I know better, oh do I know better. It's so sad the way it's come to this... I can hear the warning from that gypsy lady in my head. Beware of the one who will cross that line in no time at all... and I wonder.. is it you? It has to be you... but it cant be you. I will not believe it is you. I toss my coins into the universes wishing well and I close my eyes tight, I put it all out there on the line. This is not the way that things will be. There used to be a time we used to speak about such sensitive things... you would be the first to know. you should be the first to know. Fix this mess... fix this dress, sew up the hems and cut the strings.... take it all so far away from me... do anything to keep me safe, do anything to make it right, do anything to make up for everything that you've done... this could be the final straw... this could be the end of it all... and I need an act of decency, I need an act of chivalry, I'd like an act not of memory but one of sense and sensibility...