I am a Light sleeper, but a heavy dreamer.

I can't stop this stirring inside of me.. underneath my skin and bones. In the deep parts of my mind, I cant even process the unusual hankering I have for being something other, something more than what I am. Most often the thoughts and ideas are fledgling. A hazy cloud just passing by like pictures in my mind. It's not entirely that I'm unsatisfied with who I am, it's more that I know there's a possibility for something oddly contrasting and even unfamiliar. I think too often I've underestimated the strength of a smile, a laugh, a listening ear, honesty, all of which have the great potential of turning a life around. I want to be that. I want so much to be a smile, to be understanding, to be hearing and heard. My mind often wanders to places in which I can't understand, as if I were a child, why one would hurt another, or why we react the way we do. It's been said that I am sensitive to a fault, that I need to protect myself from others emotions, but I think I am lucky, that I want to feel others emotions and try hard to understand them. I am uncertain everyday. I will be uncertain for me rest of my life. I can't stand on one foot for now, and maybe tomorrow I wont be able to stand on two, but what I do know now is that you never really learn until you are ready to learn. I am ready, I want to be better, i want to be good, I want to make a difference, I want to be an explorer.

1. Always be looking (notice the ground beneath your feet.
2. Consider everything alive & animate
3. EVERYTHING is interesting (look closer)
4. Alter your course often
5. Observe for long durations (and short ones)
6. Notice the stories going on around you
7. Notice PATTERNS, make CONNECTIONS
8. Document your findings in a variety of ways.
9. Incorporate INDETERMINANCY
10. Observe movement.
11. Create a personal dialogue with your environment. (Talk to it)
12. Trace things back to their origins
13. Use ALL of the sense in your investigations.

Today, I am awake. Today my spine is straight, and while the bees still buzz around inside, and my fingers and toes don't feel quite right.. There is nothing more I would ask for, then to explore, explore this unwavering stirring inside me, and find a way to show everyone how grateful I am for their kind words and smiles, that have altered my life.