smile because it happened.

Three days, thought, hibernation, unblinking eyes. Coming to conclusions, then questioning them again. Hypothesis is all i have. No validity or truths, no ends or means. I am woman and dog. Girl and guitar, twenties and lonesome, creative, confused, with a voice and words, words with no meaning, words with only feelings and feelings with sounds and sounds with no end. I am never the same, always changing, transforming, day by day. Looking for the magic things like the tingle in my spine, and redness of your lips. I take pleasure in my transformations. I look quiet and consistent but few know how many women there are in me. I need courage today, terribly. If you could parcel it up in brown paper and send it my way that would be wonderful. I don't know why I feel so incomplete, maybe I am building walls instead of bridges, maybe what I think will keep me safe is only keeping me apart, away from those connections between people. The things to admire in people, the trust that goes unnoticed, the small kindnesses, shared silences. There are always connections between people, there is always so much to see, there is always so much to feel, maybe I am just overwhelmed. I want so badly to be strong, all the time, I want to learn things as if I were a child. I don't want to be bitter or unkind... sometimes I expect more from others because I would be willing to do the same for them... maybe I need to stop. I sit in the corner some night watching... listening to stories... I try to learn from what I hear. I'm just a girl who want to be loved, I want you to kill the bugs, and bring flowers in a paper cup. You see, just because I may not love you the way you want me to, doesn't mean, I don't love you with all I have. Remember that please, whoever you are, if ever we meet. Because I am entirely made of flaws, bruises and scars, all stitched together with good intentions. We are not so different, you and I. Nestled beneath the faint arc of our rib cage is an instrument that we called the "heart", its intricate, intimate humming, stringing the seconds, from moment to minute, giving us life. If only we'd hang up our guns, sling aside our anger, cast way our pursuit for power, and arm ourselves with a redeeming heart. If only we'd set aside paperwork, pause amidst deadlines and board meetings. Then we could savor an embrace, delight in a kiss, smile at a stranger.
We could lay strewn across the grass and watch the sun shimmer on the horizon. We could withhold from hurried meals, and store bought favors. We could meditate, and contemplate, before speaking, before forming half-witted judgments. We could see again, see the souls of our offenders, see the power of the weak. This world does not need regulations and restrictions, any more than we need currency and contracts, any more than we need presidents and princes, any more than we need to believe the world must unquestionably be intricate and involved. All we need is the mending of fractures in relationships, the banding of hearts together. We're not so different, you and I. We wander daily to forks in the road, where we must elect either the path of love or the path of despite. Love may hurt a little, and love may not come easy, but it will come, if you call it, love can change yourself, and it can change the world... remember, people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.