Nervous.

There's so many places she can't reach. When she looks up it all seems to just graze her fingertips. When she looks down, she seems so much closer to the ground. She has this way,where she can pretend that nothing really means to much, but when she lays her head to sleep even the smallest things mean everything. With eyes shut, it's you she's thinking of. It's not that she's not listening, she's just going for a walk. She lets her ladder down for those who really shine... she hopes you'll climb up when she does. Where were you when she was humming "I need for you to need me too".. that's what repeats in your brain. You close your eyes. She draws her breath long and tired, her eyes are alone but her smile tries to say that things are okay. Like a mouse in a bear suit she pretends to roar. inhale... exhale, her skin is pierced delicately, precisley....she does not move nor make a sound. Little bird, are you happy in your cage? She quietly giggles. For she is no more free than these pills allow her to be... one, two, three.. she counts them out and swallows loud... never certain of the outcome. Maybe she'll just lay here for a while. Her shoulders have the kind of weight you cannot lift, her heart it's own direction. A compass wouldn't help at all. She's says she's afraid she's becoming invisible, has nothing interesting to say. She thinks this world is in a crazy hue, a random shade of blue, she feels more human than imaginable, she feels small, she feels fragile. She can't stop her feet from dancing in the street.. It's time to see the clouds from new angles she thinks, it's time to feel the breeze.