And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

To be reminded of life's frailties is something seemingly often imposed upon me...
I can't even begin to understand what or why I've been reminded so many times... The answers, lay there, in this blank ambiguity, biding the time, when my mind might finally recognize the purpose.

I used to question what I'd done to deserve the cards that I'd been dealt. I pined over it day and sleepless night, I tried to hard to right my wrongs and begged for one more chance. Until today. Today, I think.. you never know what you're gonna get, and maybe, just maybe, I've been dealt these cards because I am strong enough to play the game with them and make a good outcome anyway. Perhaps there is a purpose and a meaning, I have to believe in that, I am learning lessons. Whether to be shared, taught or just understood. I am the same as a fleeting moment. I must do what I can with what I have.



For all my life, so far, I've lived in fervent bursts, like open-ended dashes between blunted bullets of morse code. The days gone by were seasoned with moments of courage and gallant guts; lipped and laced with spunk, timidness and uncontrollable laughter.Nevertheless, those moments have been nothing more than a lightning storm in August, painted strokes of ambition that have not yet discovered how to illuminate the sky for more than one amazing, glimmering second.



So now, for life, I cannot and will not live all paperwork and paper smiles. I will breathe life in everyday, and dream of laughter, of intimate exchanges, and to love and be loved, until my heart balloons with the bliss of it all.

I'll take the frequent reminders of life's fragility, it humbles my heart. I'll take the struggles and strife and tears and pain. The unknowing and uncertainty. I'll take the questions and the rainy days, they make me stronger. I am not afraid. I am not falsely unafraid. I just promise myself to press forward.