MStaken Identity

It's been sometime now since I've reported much on living a life with MS. 

I suppose there never really comes a time when you simply forget you have it, or that it just goes away... however, as a twenty something, I'm guessing that there are times when I've just conveniently decided to overlooked the fact.   As impossible as it may seem at times, I've made excuses for the tingling and the sensations, for the days that I can't open my eyes...  I always try to find a reason other than MS for why things are the way they are... I guess it gets hard sometimes to really know, whether what you're feeling is normal or not...

It wasn't until today though, that I think I swallowed down my stiff upper lip.  The thing is, that I've finally realized, I can't keep up the way I used to... and I think that it's okay, and I think that the people who are really your friends, will understand.  It's been a hard few months, the meningitis and going back to work... I try to keep a smile on my face, but the truth is that sometimes, I just want a hug... sometimes, I just want to curl up and sleep, sometimes I wish I could look on the outside, how I feel on the inside, just so you could see what it was like... sometimes... when I'm sticking that needle in my leg day after day... I just want to give up and I want to be like everyone else... I want to feel normal for a day... 

So a moment of weakness crept in... and I guess that's all I have to say... living with MS is tough somedays... it's mistaken identity. People don't know what to expect, I don't know what to expect. It's russian roulette...  but that's what's exciting... I will never take you or anything for granted... and I want anyone reading this, that is a part of my life to know... that it means the world to me.... to have you around... 

love, gee