011.

late night. long night..

not so easy to go it alone… I've never quite come to a solid understanding on how/why my body can just give up on me.. it's like when I need it most it seems to fail me.   I've said so many times how much i wish my outsides could just reflect my insides… so that for a moment I didn't feel crazy… for a moment I could actually see what it was that I was feeling.  I don't want to feel sorry for myself.. these are the cards that I've been dealt… and a battle I must face  and win… sometimes though, it just gets a little disheartening…. I do feel lucky though.. lucky that it's only this.. that I've been otherwise healthy.. that these episodes are few and far between.  A million miles from home… but the faith and support and encouragement of family and loved ones makes it all bearable during times like these.