I am afraid I will disappear into nothingness.

Long day.. even longer night. I wish I had something better to say than when it rains it pours. I am still shaking from the cold straight into my bones. I wonder sometimes if people could go back, and see what's really going on.. they would take back words, and give hugs instead? Today MS and I have once again come to a disagreement. Spent all day digesting news that i never wanted to hear. Only to come home to more heartbreak. And then I wonder why I'm at my breaking point. We take our health so much for granted. Sometimes I feel like I would trade anything in the world, just to be able to have a healthy body. I keep it to myself, because i feel like you must be tire of hearing it. I needed a shoulder to lean on but there was none. I feel so scared inside. That I'll never get to where I need to be… I never meant to be this damn broken. Maybe it's all out of my hands.. I'll take it for what it's worth.. but god, please give my body a rest.