Sunday, March 17, 2013

post 152


It feels as if I am living in emptiness, as if the very space I occupy is one big misunderstanding.  Some things feel unhealthy, quite sick if I'm being honest.  "I often have a longing for impossible things precisely because they are impossible.  Nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been, regret over not being someone else." There comes times when I grow tired of waiting on life.  I'm so tired of always looking to this future that is infinite.  Sometimes I wonder why we even aspire to be anything at all,  if the future will come and wipe it away in the end.  Other times, I am so grateful for the chance at a clean slate.. a future unknown where possibility is limitless.  Mostly though, I want, I crave, to make something of this life.  To do something good. To learn how to love so deeply that my intentions are never a question. I want people to smile when they think of me.   I want to be good. 

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