Sunday, June 30, 2013

regrets and no regrets

Regret is such an asshole. The one feeling that I cannot stand to feel.   I dont know about you, but when I feel regret I torture myself with all the what if's and the could of's.  It's like drowning in a bathtub of shallow water.  You know all you need to do is lift your head but for someone reason you stay face first in the warm puddle.  Something feels disgustingly good about relishing in the misery.  It tells me I am capable of feeling something and that's a feat in itself.  The only thing I wish, is that the feelings I am capable of feeling weren't just sadness and regret.  I wish I could relish in the happy moments when they were right in front of me.

Ah, the self sabotage I do... it's killing me.
How do I stop and where do I even begin?

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