I was driving along having my usual sense of awakeness in a world that seems mostly asleep, feeling like a part of my brain wasn’t fixed solidly and managed to slip through the streamlining of human nature, resulting in an unusual awareness of life, yet without the tools to cope with the awareness. The doctors know that they can give you Fluoxetine to fill that missing link so that you short circuit to just seeing beauty, but instead I see something kind of scary and I’m not sure I’m suppose to block it and along with it block my creativity? My drive, my essense? Anyway, that is another discussion. Beyond anything else, this awakeness sometimes feels so lonely. Is it just me with this awakeness? Me, driving down this street while he mows and she walks the dog, are you both asleep?
But then I think of my close friends, yep, they too are awake ones, and then I remember how I read books sometimes and feel so connected with the author’s perceptions and realize that so too do thousands of other readers, then there are songs which do the same things, and movies, like I heart huckabees which bring off centre thoughts into the mainstream and seem accepted…
So I’m not alone? I’m not really specially connected to a slimstream of awareness. But the one thing I can’t get and want explained… is…
SLEEP
1 comment:
I do not know how one chooses between the short circuit and being awake. I also have some thing that the doc's give me month after month, and I too have lost something. Yet I have gained some thing too... I am not sure what was or is more important. Am I a new me, just to lose the one I was before. is it all for the better? I know I woke up this morning, but am I really awake???
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