My sincere (and fragile) architecture

I'm pretty happy with the way 2008 turned out. Ironically, I think I can safely say it was the best year of my life thus far. In no way can I try to quantify or qualify it in order to demonstrate its impact.

I realized a lot of things, grew by leaps and bounds (i swear I even seem taller) and mostly I allowed myself to be surrounded by good friends, loved freely but not recklessly, and I did away with the bad, evil, and life-ruining elements I had unintentionally invited in.

There's still work to be done, kinks to be sorted out - true of every life. Keep working until the end. Keep loving until the end. It takes some rain for a garden to grow.

I've never really believed in resolutions, because I make goals for myself all the time. Change is constant, hard but necessary. Water always flows. I feel on the brink of something...not quite sure what, but there's a lot I want to accomplish, not only in 2009, but in my life. Damn everything and everyone that stands in my way or judges my logic. (or thank you for challenging me)

I think it's time I speak up when I want to, instead of cowering or tiptoeing. I'm done with people trying to do the "cool" thing; when you do it, it exhausts me, and I just want to smile. I want to have fun without being frivolous or doing frivolous things. Stop making me feel bad for not doing something or voicing my own personal opinion. I want to read lots of books and put more thought into my writing, I want to play guitar till my fingers bleed, sing loudly, dance melodically. I want to love someone fully, live in simplicity and learn how to make some kind of difference. I'm ready to check things off, and not procrastinate. Prioritize. I'll do it my way, thank you. I'm done apologizing for things that aren't my fault.

I feel good. Here it is: I faced a debilitating disease with courage, with love, with family and with friends, and I've never felt more independent.

Changes are coming, but given my lifestyle from birth to present, that's always been the case. I welcome them, always.